For the past 5 years, I've been able to enjoy the rest that comes with a week of Spring Break. Because I've either been teaching, in school or in ministry, my calendar has always included a Spring Break. But suddenly, now that I'm a stay at home mom, I am facing a different kind of Spring Break and I'll admit...I don't really like it!
First, the regular activities I look forward to during the week are all cancelled. This includes Mother's Day Out (oh, how I love those few precious hours to run errands by myself!) and women's Bible study. But I even prepared in advance. I thought, I'll just plan some fun outings on the days that I normally have scheduled activities. Problem: every other mom is doing the same thing! The parks, shopping malls, libraries and zoos are PACKED with families and their kids. It was utter chaos everywhere I went. And I was constantly worried that Marshall was going to get clobbered by the bigger kids. Not fun.
Let's just say that by the end of the week, I was fried. I was craving alone time, time away from my precious toddler, to just be quiet and do something fun for myself. My sweet hubby encouraged me to go to a coffee shop or get a massage or just go shopping. But by the time we'd put Marshall to bed in the evenings, I was ready to hit the hay myself.
I ended this week feeling tired, stressed and resentful for having had little alone time. And in those moments, my sin becomes so much more evident. It was yucky. I was a brat. I said some things I wished I hadn't. I reacted in ways I wished I hadn't. What I realized, more than ever, during this Lenten season...is how much I need Jesus, how much I need the gospel, how much I need the good news of the cross. That because of my sin and my yuck, Jesus paid the price. I realize how far short I fall from the mark of perfection that God requires of us in order to be in His holy and awesome presence. Yet because of Jesus, because of His death on our behalf, we have been made righteous. We have been cleansed. We have been forgiven. We have been redeemed. What gloriously good news! We don't have to wallow in our sin and our shame. Must we repent of our sin? Of course! But once we have, we can know that we are restored to our loving Savior.
As I start a new week, still a little raggard and weary from the last one, I want to cling to the cross and REJOICE in what Jesus has done for me.