Joy in the Terrible Twos

After an exhausting, but joyful week in St. Louis playing with 7 cousins, lots of aunts, uncles, grandparents and a fun-loving golden retriever, we were pooped. Not to mention, Marshall, our fiesty almost two year old, is going through a serious testing phase. Hitting kids, throwing things, destroying anything he can get his hands on. We're trying to stay on top of discipline, but it's hard, especially when you're away from home and it's not always easy or convenient to follow through. So after a week of tantrums, kicking, hitting, screaming, whining, climbing out of the pack n play, coming down the stairs by himself, not sleeping or napping well, we were about to tear our hair out. It was a not a fun place to be as a stay at home mom, when I knew what I had to look forward to - a full week with him at home with no Mother's Day Out or planned activities because it was still the holiday season. Ugh. We had a playdate today with a dear friend who is a little bit ahead of me in the parenting stage. She has 5 kids (wow!) ranging around 9, 7, 5, 3, and a newborn. I wasn't sure what I expected when I walked into her home, but I sure didn't expect a joyful, calm atmosphere. But it WAS! She served me coffee, we had a good chat (until my 2 year old started demanding my attention) and she just oozed joy, peace, and contentment in her role as a mom. I was in awe as I looked around her house and saw how orderly everything was. There were 2 bedrooms with 2 kids each, then one for the nursery. All were cutely decorated, but amazingly clean and organized. There was a play area that was filled with fun toys but also orderly. I was in awe. After a good chat on the couch, we went downstairs to the breakfast room and fed all the kids lunch. The girls stopped playing their wedding songs and marrying off their dolls (hilarious!) to join us. They got out a card game that asked good conversation questions like "What qualities do you relate to in your mom and your dad?" I was amazed at how articulate the girls could be. I was amazed that everyone sat there and ate their lunch so calmly. I was amazed at how clean and orderly and efficient her household was. I was amazed at her for having 5 children and being joyful about it. Maybe it's because her girls are the oldest (the two boys are the youngest). But I doubt that's it. Like everyone says, this is a phase. Right now, I'm in a really difficult one with Marshall. I'm exhausted from time outs. I'm exhausted from giving him the talk about consequences, why he's being disciplined and praying for forgiveness with him afterwards. I'm irritated when he keeps testing again and again even after being disciplined. I'm irritated when he kicks me, throws his food on the floor, or hits his sister (which all 3 happen quite often, even with discipline!). I'm flat out irritated and annoyed at him for much of the day. But there are also still sweet times, when I love being with him and love being his mommy. Visiting my friend reminded me that everything is a phase with parenting. Some day, hopefully, I will be sitting down at the breakfast table, enjoying conversation with my children without having to worry about whether they hit each other or throw their food on the floor. Instead, we will probably be dealing with bickering, complaining or arguing. But man, that sure sounds better to me at this point. ha! Lord Jesus, thank you for this Christmas season. Thank you for sending your son Jesus to die for our sins. During these tough parenting days, I see how irritable I am, how short-tempered I can be, how impatient and frustrated and angry I can get, and I realize that You love us as a parent, but without ever losing your temper. You are patient with us, even when we don't deserve it. You discipline us in love, without getting angry. Thank you for the blessing of children and as challenging and as exhausting it can be, there is nothing else in the world I would rather be doing. Next time Marshall kicks me, I'll have to remind myself of that one...then take him into his room for a little chat. :)

Forgetting the CHRIST in CHRISTmas

Why is it in this season of CHRISTmas that I am the LEAST joyful and the LEAST CHRISTlike??? I relate to Martha, as opposed to Mary, in the story from the gospels, in her rushing about, getting last minute Christmas errands done. That in itself, is not necessarily a bad thing, but my heart attitude is IRRITABLE, ANNOYED and ANGRY. I HATE Christmas shopping. Hello Grinch, I know. I am just not a gifts person to begin with, but I really don't mind buying for birthdays because it is ONE person you can focus on and really think through something they like. But Christmas shopping means buying for TONS of adults and all different aged kids (14, to be exact!)...and honestly, I just don't ever know what to get. So I end up putting it all off until the last minute, then frantically buying some junk that I spend way too much on and don't know if they will even like it or use it. So in the end, I am just frustrated and annoyed. Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas! It is also always around this time that I stroll past the Salvation Army guy ringing the bell, waiting for a small donation and my two children are melting down, I am TICKED off, and I have to give that guy a big smile and wave, as if to say, "maybe next time I'll throw some money in your bucket!" So after one of those frantic shopping days today (I felt that I needed to buy just one more item for my sisters-in-law because my other present for them wasn't quite good enough), here I was, standing in the check-out line of Macy's, as my 2 year old begins grabbing everything off the rack and my 6 month old starts to scream because it was time to eat. By the time I got home, not only did my kids need time-outs, but so did mommy! I knew that was a sign I needed to spend some serious time in God's word. I came to these verses in 2 Timothy: So, my son, throw yourself into this work for Christ. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won't be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing. Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness-faith, love, peace-joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. (2 Timothy 2:1, 15, 21, 22, 24-26 MSG) Oh Lord, help me, even in this busy Christmas season, to throw myself into this work for Christ (not for myself!). Help me to concentrate on doing my BEST for You, work you won't be ashamed of. Help me to be a BLESSING to my family as we spend time over the holidays. Rather than thinking about myself and worrying about whether my gifts are "good enough", help me to be prayerfully thinking about them and asking them questions, loving them well, listening and encouraging them through my words and actions, mostly, seeking to bring You glory through my interactions and conversations. Help me, especially, with my own children, not to argue with them (have you ever tried to reason with a screaming 2 year old???), but be a gentle listener (empathetic, even when I am disciplining them) and be a mother who KEEPS COOL, working firmly but PATIENTLY with those who refuse to obey (my own children!). Oh Lord Jesus, thank you for the truth of Your word in the midst of a chaotic season and the deep reminder how much we need Jesus!