So it's been one of those weeks. Lots of little disappointments.
It started on Sunday, the morning of Marshall's first birthday, when he woke up and proceeded to throw up non-stop. The party was at 4pm that day. After a few hours of being in complete denial, Jim had to sit me down and say, "Honey, we can't have other kids over here when Marshall is throwing up. We are going to have to cancel the party." I finally accepted that fact, but definitely wasn't happy about it. I moped for most of the day. All the food, decorations, and overall excitement at celebrating my little boy's first birthday had been building up for weeks...and now it was cancelled.
I know some of you may think, it's just a one year old birthday party, for crying out loud, it's not like they even know the difference! But I think most moms will understand: birthdays, ESPECIALLY the first one, are a big deal! It's not just about the child, it's an opportunity for the parents to celebrate SURVIVING ONE YEAR with their little one and marking that milestone. Atleast we were able to reschedule the party. But that was Disappointment #1.
Disappointment #2. I got sick. None of the vomiting stuff that Marshall had (thank goodness!), but I came down with a persistent case of cedar fever. Since I'm also 18 weeks pregnant and STILL nauseous (no happy 2nd trimester hormones yet!), with the combo of a runny nose, a pounding headache and a constant desire to hurl, I just haven't been loving life.
Disappointment #3. I hosted a dinner party for 7 girlfriends last night (while still recovering from cedar fever). I'd been excited all week to host and enjoy a girls' night of fun, adult conversation, relishing a few hours away from our needy little ones. I picked a crockpot recipe that looked DELISH - chicken cacciatore with fire roasted tomatoes, green bell pepper, onions, mushrooms, chicken, basil, oregano, and bay leaves. I decided to add a cup of red wine (Cabernet) to give it a richer flavor. Well, I'm not sure if it was the wine or just a terrible recipe, but the meal was absolutely flavorless. When I took a bite, after sitting down at the dinner table with the rest of the girls, I wanted to duck under the table, I was so embarrassed at how bad it tasted. Oh goodness.
So that's been my week so far. Nothing earth shattering in the grand scheme of things, but definitely disappointing.
As I prayed today, I just confessed my hurts to the Lord. He reminded me to think about His Story for all of us. I've been reading the One Year Bible with some friends. We finished Genesis and are now in Exodus. Already, we've read about some messed up, hurting people. Women who can't get pregnant, men who deceive, families who are torn apart by jealousy, hatred and murder. The Bible doesn't sugar coat things. It shows the world like it is: full of SIN and EVIl. And yet...there is HOPE.
Why? Because we have a God who cares. We have a God who is actively involved in our lives, who doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves, but walks with us every step of the way. As I've read about the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Joseph, I see evidence of God leading them, of God walking alongside them, of God providing for them.
And as I complained to God about my hurts and disappointments of the week, He reminded me that He cares about me. That He is walking alongside me, every step of the way. And while he may not protect me from every little disappointment in life, He will be there for me.
So while it wasn't the greatest week, I am reminded that God hasn't forsaken me. He loves me and He cares. Knowing that makes my little disappointments a tad bit more palatable. :)